Brian McKnight: single again: award-winning singer begins a new life after divorce

Author: Ebony

BRIAN McKNIGHT has always been one of those guys who can, with seemingly minimal effort, make large numbers of women smile and swoon.

And now he's doing it again in a different way--not with his soft and sexy ballads, but with the surprising news that he's now one of the music world's most eligible bachelors.

After 13 years of marriage, he and his former wife Julie have parted. And some of his female fans couldn't be happier. They don't begrudge his former wife any happiness, but more than a few are now strategizing.

And he knows it.

McKnight, now 34, is seen as a true male novelty--the handsome, sensitive man who understands the complexities of women and relationships and knows how to gently seduce with words.

Now, he's all alone in his massive home in a hilly, gated community in Los Angeles near mountains and canyons. He's enjoying the success of his latest CD, U-Turn, but is generally alone with his buddies or his two sons, Brian Jr., 14, and Cole Nicholas, 11. He and Julie have joint custody of the boys.

"I'm single, but I'm not out there actively looking for someone to replace that situation," he says while relaxing in the den of his large, quiet home. "I'm just going on about the things I have to do. If another situation comes, it comes; if it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not in a hurry to rush out and do a whole bunch of this or that."

After 13 years, he's very, very cautious and guarded. And, above all, patient, when it comes to intimacy. "Obviously, I have needs like any man, but I'm not looking. The biggest problem is to meet a person who realizes I'm out of the situation and thinks, 'OK, now I can move in. I'm going to be No. 1.' Maybe that day will come, but that day is not today."

The major reason for his hesitation to make a new commitment continues to be the woman he loved, fought with and continues to revere--Julie. He calls her" a tough act to follow. She's the real thing. She knew me and loved me before any of [my success]."

So now he finds himself not as open as he would like to be, but definitely interested and aware of women. McKnight finds himself wondering, "Would she be with me if ...?' or "If it's all gone tomorrow, then what?"

Despite his uncertainty, the award-winning singer is up for fun times with a sincere and honest woman who's not looking to settle down right now.

And what kind of woman appeals to him? Well first of all, she has to appreciate sports, he says. And it would certainly help if she were as interested in basketball as he is. Well maybe not to the extent he enjoys it. He is the man who has collected autographed sneakers from more than a dozen current NBA superstars.

"The greatest thing in the world would be to have someone who could be my friend, and go to the games with me. Basically, be one of the boys who's a girl," he laughs. "That's the whole idea, someone I can hang with and do everything else with, but someone who doesn't infringe upon what I'm trying to do with my life."

But true to the music that he writes, sings and produces, he wants to be in love. Really in love. And he figures he might find that person later, but right now he is still dealing with the divorce and is focusing on career and children.

And as life goes on, when there is free time, he gets his rushes from skydiving, tooling around on his motorcycles and scuba-diving with sharks in the Caribbean. "Sky-diving is an unbelievable feeling" he says. "You see, I'm a control freak. I like to be in complete control of every aspect of my life. It's something I always wanted to do. Haven't you wanted to fly like a bird? It's dangerous, but you're traveling and it's such a rush."

As exciting as those activities are, for him, they are secondary to basketball. McKnight plays regularly with men who are hoping to make the National Basketball Association or to get a chance to display their skills in Europe or Asia. He has traveled overseas to play some competitive games against Olympic teams.

Although McKnight's varied activities provide intense entertainment, he still has to adjust to what he calls "one of the toughest things," not having his sons around all the time. Even joint custody has been difficult, he says, since he has been accustomed to the constant sounds of their presence. "This is still their house, and there's not a set time for anything."

Ironically, the divorce has changed the relationship between McKnight and his former wife, he says, for the better. "Julie and I are really good friends. We've done things as a family. The kids never see animosity" he says. "We disagree, but the arguments are very different now. We've actually come to resolution now."

It is a far cry from six years ago when he says he realized there were major problems in the relationship. But because both had come from very religious backgrounds (they met while students at Oakwood College, a Seventh-Day Adventist-affiliated school in Alabama), they were determined to try to make it work. The presence of two children made it more imperative to not give up on it. "I think deep down we both knew six years ago that this would be the end result. If we hadn't had children, it would have been much easier to say, 'You know what, we're just going to go our separate ways.' We do love each other, but people grow apart."

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